Life is a cherry blossom tree.(Chapter 6)

You are attracted to the soul of this person, and the body of someone else?
How could this be possible?
Are you sick?


These thoughts took my brain by a storm as I sat down to think about the events that unfolded that night.
The events that probably stole Kumi away from me.
And it was all my fault.
Or was it?
I was fighting a different battle altogether now.
My heart wanted to embrace Kumi, my brain wasn't willing to let go of  Isumi.
I was trapped in my own body.

Every time I wanted to move on, find happiness, think about Kumi,
my brain would force me to think about Isumi moaning and being fucked by someone else and that would turn me on.
Turn me on like anything, I couldn't control it. I was stuck.

Kumi tried to kiss me today, I couldn't.
I just couldn't.
Instead of explaining it to her, what did I do?
I ran away!


"AHH! STOP IT!!!" I screamed throwing the mirror in my hand.
A constant battle between my brain and my heart made me sick.
I went to pick the now shattered pieces of that mirror,
Somehow it reflected my life.
I was too broken now.

I checked my phone, there were 10 missed calls.
4 from Kumi,5 from Yuto,1 from Midori.

I sighed.
I wasn't in the state to talk to anyone else but me; not even me.

It was a chilly night, Spring was coming to an end.
Summer was about to embrace us while spring was trying it's hard not to let go.
There's always a battle going on everywhere if you look closely.


I put on my black hoodie, black jeans and the black beanie.
It suited my mood.
Putting on my headphones I went out.
I had to escape.
But where to?


I walked, with no destination in my mind.
Somehow it seemed it would fix all my problems.
It didn't, but it gave me the strength and the tranquillity to cope up with it.

Even the darkest streets were lightened today, the full moon took care of all it seemed.
I looked up.
What about me?
Who's my saviour?
Who will cast the much-needed light over me?




"Rin!"
I turned around, of all the places I could have gone, I went back to the place where I left her and she was still there.
It was Kumi.
"Kumi, What are you doing here?! It's too late to be out." I asked curiously.
She smiled feebly.
"I didn't have the heart to go back."
"I kept wondering what went wrong."
"I'm sorry I freaked you out," she said all of that in one breathe.

"Let's go talk somewhere safe okay?" I suggested.
I had to talk to her.
Tell her that I'm sick.

"No, let's be here." She said.
Not willing to move, I gave in.

We sat on a nearby bridge.
Our legs hanging out.
I told her it was scary, she said she'll hold my hands if I become.
I gave in again.





"So, what were you listening to?" She asked, pointing towards my headphone.

"What? Oh, Lucid dreams. It suited the mood." I told her, confused by the question.

"I know, me too." she smiled, showing her playlist.
The song "Lucid dream" was on pause.

We stared at each other.
We were so similar, yet she seemed a better version of me, a happier version of me.
I wanted to upgrade myself to that version.

"I have to tell you a lot of things," I said.
She held my hand,"Go ahead." she said.


"I have been  sick lately, I don't know what it is actually."  I started, not knowing how to frame everything.
"At some part of my mind, Isumi my former girlfriend is stuck. She holds me back.
She haunts my mind when I'm weak, forcing me to think about her sexually in explicit ways.
Some days ago, when I had finally learnt to battle myself she called me again to break me.
She called to make me feel inferior, just the way she made me feel all those years when we were together.
Why would anyone do this?" I paused, as one large tear dropped on her right palm, it was mine.

I continued.
"She doesn't want me, she doesn't need me, yet she wants me to think only about her, knowing the fact that I can't have her.
And nor do I want to. I have no love left for her, yet its the lust, the intimacy which still prolongs for her makes me think about her and the fact is she's aware of this.
Yet she doesn't go away. Its as if she likes it that I'm still sexually attracted to her. What am I supposed to do?
I'm stuck, between letting go of my past and accepting my present.
I'm scared, its like I'll never be normal again.
But I want to,I so badly want to."

"And you're right?" She said, breaking the two-second silence.
"How?" I asked, confused.
"You're sitting here with me, hand in hand when you thought you would never move on,
Isn't that the  part of accepting change?" She continued.
"Rin, even if you don't know it, I can see the changes coming in you.
Somethings take less time to recover from, some more.
But eventually, everybody recovers.
That is how life is.
The trick is, you just gotta have faith in yourself, believe in yourself that things will be okay and you're trying your best.
It's all about perspective in the end." she said as came closer and kissed my left cheek.
Our first kiss.
I froze, she blushed.


She continued.
"Look up in the sky Rin, what do you see?"

"Darkness?" I suggested.
"Look closely." She pointed.
"Is it really dark?"
I looked closely.
"It wasn't. The sky was as colourful as a rainbow after a drizzle.
The alligator sky sometimes looked green, sometimes black, sometimes the shades of blue."
"We just gotta choose the colour in which we are interested." we both said this together.
I looked at her, she smiled one big smile. I really could die for this smile.

I leaned forward as she closed her eyes, we kissed.
It was magical.
It was better than anything I had ever tasted.
Did she eat strawberries before coming here?
Should I ask her this?

I didn't.
I continued to kiss her and only her.
Nobody was haunting me at that moment.
It was only us.
She, holding me tight as we seemed inseparable.
I was healing.



"I had a little bunch of strawberries before coming here, might have tasted a little weird." She confessed after we finally broke the kiss which seemed like an eternity.
It made me laugh so hard.



I got up.

"Hey, Kumi!" I said my eyes shining.
"Yes Rin?" she asked curiously
"Get up, take my hand." I grinned.

I resumed the song "Lucid dream" from the playlist.
"Put your hands over my shoulder," I said.
" I-I don't know how to." She blushed.


"What's with all the adrenaline rush boy?"  I asked myself.
"Hope." My inner me answered.


"Do you believe in endless miracles?
Do you believe in the impossible?"


"I'll teach you how to." I grinned.
Putting her hand on my waist.
We danced clumsily, to the song we loved dearly.


"That's how you study the stars,
And that's how you know my heart,
Life is a Lucid Dream."


Re-imagining it,
I was Adam and she was my firebird.

"I'm a light sleeper but I'm a heavy dreamer." She whispered into my ears.
"We both are."
"That's what keeps us going," I said.
She smiled, I smiled.
My life was complete.

"Do you wanna go on a real date next time?" She asked, grinning.
"I promise I won't run away this time," I said as we started laughing.
We kissed again.



TO BE CONTINUED.